Friday 8 November 2013

Monogamous Non Relationships

I have an old friend who is a bit of an enigma.

I love him dearly and he has seen me through the good, the bad and the ugly.  A sounding board for all my daily wins, losses and catastrophes, he has been a constant for me in a forever evolving path.

He is the first one to say I should be out there having fun, that I should be focused on that and not falling in love.  As much as he professes he won’t settle down, he has gone through his share of what we like to call “monogamous non-relationships”.  I love the fact that he views this as a happy alternative.  Don’t get me wrong, he is a kind and gentle man who always treats a woman right. 

But I want to know, what the hell is a "non-relationship"?!? 

If you are spending intimate moments with only one person, isn't that a relationship?  He thinks he is fooling the system but I think he is knee deep in it! 
He has been blessed with the knowledge that a lot of men lack, how to make a woman happy and keep her happy.  Every woman’s best friend and a man true to his word, he makes every woman feel special and inspires her to do things she never thought possible.  He sees her potential, not her limitations.

Amazingly, he is able to keep great friendships with all his past lovers, a feat many men would be reluctant to want to accomplish.  I often envy him for the ease in which he maneuvers in and out of this “non relationships”, although I do feel that in some way he longs to find the “one”. 

So what is making these "non-relationships" work for him?  I think I figured it out.


There are no crazy, honey-why-aren't-you-calling-me-twelve-times-a-day, crying into your pillow, waiting by the phone, nagging demands being placed on either partner. 
Maybe I needed to look at things the way he did.

Maybe he had a point.
(P.S. He is totally in love right now and is IN a relationship!)


  1. Good for him. Looks like he practiced a lot before and now needs to make 'the one' really happy :)

    1. Massimo -- I think you are right! He always wanted to find "the one". I truly believe that he just used this idea as a way of protecting his heart!

  2. Interesting! I like that he wasn't a total dog while waiting for "the one". sounds like an awesome guy. You know, it's funny, when I met my now husband, I was so well aware of the stigma of being the clingy, desperate chic, that I would purposely let the phone ring like three times before I'd answer it (knowing it was him calling) and then answer all casual, even though I WAS DYING FOR HIM TO CALL. Lol. I always kept him on the end of, "does she actually give a shit if I call or not?" cuz then he was always chasing me. OR he thought he was, anyway....

    1. relationships are all about this crazy dance between people. it takes time to get in sync but once it does, the choreography is wonderful!!! BETH i love that you are so candid! We are NEVER the clingly desperate chics! We just know what we want and let them think it was their idea! :)

  3. Exactly, Audrey, exactly. :)
    btw. I'm nominating your blog for a liebster award. :) The post will go "live" tonight or tomorrow morning. Congrats. Your doing a great job with your blog. Keep up the good work. :)