Thursday 21 August 2014

Watch, Learn, Grow and Love

Twenty years ago I returned home after travelling abroad. I spent just over a year exploring parts of the world that were exquisite and exotic and fantastic and foreign. Backpacking after graduating university proved to be one of the most eye opening experiences in my life and the lessons I learned then have helped form who I am today.

The flight from Toronto to Australia was ridiculously long so after some consideration a decision was made to start the journey westward by train to Los Angeles where I would then board a plane for Sydney. It was during this sabbatical from the 9 to 5 days of “normal life” when I realized how much I LOVE to travel. I wasn’t sure about living out of a backpack, staying in hostels and travelling by bus, train, plane and automobile.  I just didn’t do these things. They weren’t part of my everyday existence and the idea of leaving my so called “ivory tower” was terrifying. But I did and I lived to share my story.
Up until I left, my world was a small, comfortable place created by friends, family and myself.  The walls that surrounded me were cushioned and there was always someone around to kiss any bumps or bruises I had.  I had always thought I was an independent girl, wanting to do things for herself, never letting fear stop her, taking that proverbial leap of faith when that was all I had. Well, I was wrong. My independence, my true sense of independence came from this adventure.

I was on the other side of the world before the days of the Internet and Facebook. Daily communication with those who had been my security blanket all my life was very sparse and costly! There was no one around to tell me to do this or not do that. I did what I wanted. Reverse bungee jumping, rappelling down an 18 story building, drinking Bundaberg rum until I couldn’t stand any longer. So, maybe some of my choices weren’t the smartest but isn’t that what growing up is about?  Learning how to make these choices, suffering the repercussions of the wrong ones and basking in the glory of the right ones?

Twenty years later I am sitting here reflecting on that year away and my memory is flooded with the good, bad and ugly of the trip. In the midst of all this, I have one memory that has been etched in permanent ink in my mind.  It is one of the places my minds drifts to when I want a break from the monotony of my day.
In the distance, a splendid haze of reddish-orange blasts against a crystal clear blue sky. It is almost 350 metres high and about 4 kilometres long. Ayers Rock stands in front of me, smack dab in the middle of an empty plain known as the Red Centre. The thrill here is to climb to the top and see how vast plains really are. I had fully intended to embark upwards on this journey that would bring me closer to Nirvana.
Walking along the base taking note of the beauty of this magnificent chunk of ancient sandstone, I met a man named Peter. He was a delightful old man who shared the many legends behind “Uluru”, the aboriginal word for the rock.  Every feature of the rock means something to them, from the cracks and fissures to the caves and waterholes. Natives don’t climb the rock as a tribute to their belief and herein lay an issue that Peter struggled with daily: the clash between ancient traditions and what now has become modern tradition – climbing the rock. 
We continued to talk as we walked. I noticed glimmering plaques all inscribed with the names of the brave few who perished in their own battle with Uluru. It was then I made the decision to sit and not climb up with the rest. There are times when I wonder what I missed by not climbing up but then I think about what the climbers missed by not sitting down and enjoying what was in front of them.  I am happy I took that time to enjoy and focus on the moment instead of using mind, body and soul to get me to the summit. An ancient aboriginal proverb says, “We are all visitors to this time, this place... Our purpose here is to observe, to learn, to grow, to love and then we return home." And this is what I learned sitting in the tranquil beauty of theses plains.
Ayers Rock, Northern Territory
Photo credit Audrey Bresar
It was 2 ½ hours since the others made their ascent before I see them cantering down the last part of Ayers Rock exhausted. The battle between man and rock is over. Man has won, this time.  The chatter of how arduous the climb was and how beautiful the sight was from atop began. I listened and smiled politely, noticing that the sun was setting and in the midst of all the excitement, I looked over the crowd and saw the most incredible thing.
Watching the sun set around this sacred piece of rock, a beautiful metamorphosis occurs.  The monolith that stood so majestically changes its colour from fierce red to warm orange and then a deeper shade of crimson and finally a silent grey. The red rock that towers over on-lookers, that holds the secrets of many battles and that defeated some of those who tried to conquer it now sleeps like a baby in the distance.
Maybe it is not so intimidating after all.
Talk to me! Where did you find your independence? What did you learn?

Friday 8 August 2014


I descend from a long line of dreamers. Not everyone in my family walks around with this romanticized version of what life should entail running in their minds. Some are plagued with the acceptance of whatever will be, will be and have no patience for the few of us that do. The dreamers possess this internal belief that today life is great but the best is still to come.
Whether it's my good fortune or misfortune, I am one of the dreamers. I follow in the footsteps of my grandfather before me who was a classic dreamer. A man who dreamed and laughed and lived fully.
Not long ago I was having a discussion with a dear friend who is blessed by the same dreamer tendency and I casually mentioned something that has truly etched itself into the very core of my being. I am not done being great.
This comment is in no way meant to be narcissitic. I don't think I am better than anyone else or deserve anything more than my neighbour. I am simply a person who continually strives to learn, to see, to do. To think that I have done it all would be premature. To deny myself the time to dream about what next would result in a whole world of experience that would be lost to me. So I am not done.
I know this because I am forever reaching; forever pushing; forever doing. I need to satisfy the constant hunger inside of me to evolve. I need my life to be fluid. What I can't explain is what this hunger feels like. Is it excitement? Anticipation? Wonderment or expectation? It's a fire inside the pit of my stomach with everything rolled into one bundle of "what ifs" that drives me.
Dreamer can hold some negative connotation. Dreamers are lazy. Dreamers can't focus. Dreams are just dreams. But what if we lived in a world void of dreamers? There would have been no Leonardo DaVinci, no Martin Luther King Jr., no John Lennon, no Walt Disney. The key is in my comment I made to my friend.
I am not DONE being great.
I can dream all I want. I can feel all the tingle of anticipation of what's to come. But I need to DO. Some people feel that dreamers don't do but I think not all doers are dreamers. Dreamers, the ones that make a difference, are the quintessential doers. It's the passion in these dreamers that catapults them into doing. If DaVinci didn't have passion, we wouldn't have the Mona Lisa. If MLK didn't have a dream, where would the world be today?
There will always be those non-dreamers feel compelled to inject a dose of "reality" into our dreams. It is something I face often. "You will never be famous writing. The market is too competitive", "You won't like to live in Europe. Vacationing is one thing, living there is another" "True love doesn't exist". And these are the simple dreams. Imagine if I shared the more complex ones?! I'd never hear the end of "but I'm only looking out for your best interests". My reality incorporates my dreams, it doesn't work against them. Of course, some don't always work out the way I want but it doesn't deter me from creating space in my mind where anything is possible.
So in the immortal words of John Lennon "you may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one" and I'd rather live my life with dreams than not.
Talk to me...If you can dream it, you can do it. What is the dream that moves your forward daily?