Monday 7 April 2014

Adam's Rib

If there is something that I have learned in my journey so far it’s that happiness, true happiness has to come from within. It has to flourish inside, fed by your attitude and outlook of all the nuances that surround you.  It doesn’t come from consuming yourself with thoughts of “if only”. Too many times people get caught up in these words, “if only I had money”, “if only I had a partner”, “if only I didn’t have to work so hard”. 

If only sucks.
And it sucks more when people thrust it upon you.

The other day an acquaintance alluded to the fact I would be happier if I found a man to love. I took offense to that. I gently reminded him that I AM happy and counted off all the reasons why:
v  I have two beautiful children who give me joy everyday
v  I live in a home that I created
v  I have wonderful family and friends that I surround myself with
v  I have a job I love
v  I feel good about all my accomplishments
v  I feel even better about all my possibilities

And the list went on. 

But not anywhere on that list was an “if only I had a man then my life would be perfect”.

My life is perfect. It took a few obstacles and challenges along the way to make me realize that the sun does shine every day and that I was happy with myself. How could I expect to share a life with a partner or my children or my friends and family if I wasn’t completely and honestly happy with ME?

Some say Eve was created from Adam's rib but does that mean her happiness is embedded within him? A man doesn’t have to breathe life into a woman to make her feel worthwhile. Does this person think that a woman is not complete unless there is a man to complete the equation? 

I am complete. I am happy. I am strong.

And while I have a tremendous amount of love to give and share, having a man in my life won’t change these.

I must admit that the postulation that my future state of happiness was contingent upon falling in love made me happier. Why? Because I realized that even if this would never be actualized I was happy. 

I am in love with ME.
Talk to me! Have you ever felt that if you could just reach that one thing or meet that one person life would be better?


  1. I totally concur with what you said, Audrey. Our happiness has to be independent of anyone for it to be truly our own. I have a gratitude list that I keep near my computer, so I can remind myself of all the things I have to be grateful for and happy about.

    1. Hey Matthew ~ that is a great idea! I was a bit taken aback by the antiquated view that a woman is only "complete" once she finds a man. Happiness is a journey within yourself. Only after you really truly understand "YOU" can you find that happiness that dwells deep within you and once you do, it is there forever.

  2. "If only sucks." What a fabulous and true statement! I have played that game sometimes - and occasionally get sucked back in. Not so much about love, but more around my work. I'm really trying to focus on gratitude and recognize all of the beautiful gifts I have.

    1. so right Kerry! so right! we need to focus on the RIGHT things, the things that mean something to us.

  3. I'm glad you're so self-assured. It sounds wonderful.

    If only I could be...

    1. Lizzi, you can be and you should be and you are. I admire you. When I read your words, they move me. They show a wonderfully strong woman with a heart of gold. <3<3<3

  4. You're such a bad-ass! Not many people can claim that and really feel it, whether they're with a man or not. GO WARRIOR.

    1. Me? Bad-ass? Never thought of it that way lol! YOU are the BAD-ASS WARRIOR!!! Luv ya!