Wednesday 30 October 2013

How to Make Love to Your Wife

For those of you who think that this post is a hands on manual for inept husbands, think again and read on.
I am here to dispute the old adage that a man’s sex life dies when he says “I do”.

For years, I have listened to tall tales of how the “poor husband doesn’t get any” since the doomed wedding vows. Married men have recounted their dilemma over and over, pleading with single men to rethink walking down the aisle and not share in their plight. This is a misconstrued belief because the women I talk to tell me their libido is very much in an active state and not dormant or extinct like their partners believe.

Herein lies the problem.

Women don't want seven minutes of mediocre sex or the standard missionary position or men who rush to the goods and forget about foreplay.

They want passion.

If someone would have told me that my sex life would begin to whither away after the wedding vows I wouldn’t have believed them. I thought that having someone in your life permanently would ensure an active and predictable sex life. After all, married couples didn’t have to search for potential partners; theirs was available twenty four hours a day, seven days a week.

I guess I should have been forewarned on the honeymoon.

My wedding day was supposed to be the culmination of all the time and effort put into dating my husband. The wedding night was supposed to be passionate and intense after the promise of a lifetime to each other. Sure we had to make some changes to the ceremony due to inclement weather but the gist of the day was the same. And yes, I was desperately ill after the ceremony but surely, at some point during the honeymoon, was one night of passion too much to ask for?

Apparently so.

And thus began the slow death of what was supposed to be my happily ever after.


  1. Oups. Talking about a rude awakening.

    I met my wife when she was 15 and I barely 18. After 34 years from that first date, we still celebrate our month-versary (the day number of our first date) with cute SMS and emails, or waking up with a "Happy 14".

    Silly? Sure. Lovely? You bet. I guess the youth in our love didn't notice the years passing by.

    1. Massimo, that is so wonderful that you and your wife still celebrate your month-versary! You found you true soul mate!! I am still hopeful that one day I, too, will find that special someone that sees the sun rise and set around me. I am a hopeless romantic!

  2. Sending good vibes for you, Audrey. My wife made me see and feel things about my soul I wasn't aware I had. She says I had the same effect on her.

    Love, Massimo

    1. You and your wife have given me hope...sigh!