BEEP…BEEP…BEEP….
I really hate the sound of my alarm clock. It pulls me out of my blissful slumber and catapults me into, what has become, a god-awful stressful morning.
You would think working from home would allow me the luxury of time but in fact it is the absence of time constraints that make me rush around like a mad woman.
Here are the top five things that make my morning stressful:
1. The Snooze Button – I used to think that this was the best part of the alarm. Not so much anymore. This 10 minute reprieve given by clock engineers around the world has made my life hell. I have discovered that in 10 minutes I can fall back into a full slumber. I have also discovered that while searching for things in the dark is virtually impossible, I am able to locate the snooze button, with back turned in a dark room, with one hand – bulls eye EVERY SINGLE TIME! And by every time, I mean 4 times after my original alarm. Which means, I AM ALWAYS IN A RUSH.
2. Thing 1 and Thing 2 – How long do I have to call them for them to wake up? Apparently, until I lose my shit and scream like a mad woman. Of course this wouldn’t be so bad if I hadn’t overslept to begin with, right? All I know is that they move slower than molasses in a polar vortex, oozing themselves out of bed one cell at a time. And speaking of polar vortexes…
3. The Polar Vortex – Okay, this winter has been one for the books. The weather has been incredibly cold everywhere. Ensuring that both Thing #1 and Thing #2 are properly protected is an ongoing battle. Hats go missing, gloves are lost, extra sweaters are left behind and winter boots forgotten at school. I have come to the point where I tell them it is their problem After all, I don’t have to go outside.
4. One bathroom – Oh the joys of condo dwelling! Yes. One bathroom, three people. Any way you do this math, it will come up with an impossible answer. Especially when you add in what time we need to be out of the house! Mornings are spent refereeing – “I got here first!”, “Hurry up, I gotta pee!”, “Unlock the door, NOW!” That last is ALWAYS me.
5. My dog – I love her dearly, truly I do. I have a place in the laundry room where I have lovingly placed a pad for her to use when the “need” hits. Every morning without fail, she gets up when my feet hit the floor and goes to the laundry room. And every morning without fail, she pees BESIDE the pad. Of course, I don’ t notice this until I am done with lunches and breakfast and the million other things I have to do and it has spread all over the floor. I should have invested in antibacterial wipes when I brought the dog home. My kids think it is hilarious at how many times I wash the floor because, as luck would have it, she tends to walk through it and leave footprints all over my hardwood floor.
I am looking forward to my upcoming vacation, when the dog stays with grandma and the kids can wake at their own leisure. Where alarm clocks don’t exist and I can sleep until the sun wakes me. Where the cold won’t bother me because I won’t have to go outside.
Talk to me! I would love to know what the "craziness" in your morning routine is and how you cope...share please! Am I the only mad woman out there??
